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People have been pouring in right from the morning
Yes. The more shoulders you find at a time like this the better
The poor chap! Till yesterday, he was having fun and frolic
He had just started living it up. And in the prime of his youth....
Alas! It's so sad! Is someone dead?
No, he's getting married tomorrow
Prem! Come over immediately. I'm so shit scared...
Iooks like I'll never have to get up from this place ever again
Jerk, till yesterday, we didn't have the licence to have a honeymoon
After your wedding tomorrow, you'll have the licence...
to have a honeymoon all your life! A genuine one!
And what haven't I done for a license? I begged God...
even consulted a palmist. But even when I land a girl...
she won't let me touch her! One was the movie...
and here's a case of the handbeingthebestbet
But that bachelor party I've arranged. Is it necessary?
Now look, this bachelors' party is meant less for you...
and more for bachelors like us, you dig?
But if we get caught today, I'll remain a bachelor all my life
Nothing of the sort's going to happen! Just imagine...
the beach at Madh Island. A bungalow on the beach...
and Vimla and Mangala in the bungalow!
But where's Meet, by the way? Don't you know him?
He must've run into one of Pooja's friends
Excuse me...
if I'm not wrong, aren't you my sister Pooja's friend?
Bye, baby
Hello, sister. Namaste, dude
Hi guys! What's up? This girl who just left...?
Oh yes, She's my sister Pooja's friend
Beats me, Meet! How does this formula of yours always work?
Very simple. You won't find a more common name than Pooja in this country
Shout "Pooja" on the streets and a dozen girls will rush to you
Every girl has a friend called Pooja. So I turn Pooja's brother...
and then, her friend's beau! Nice name your parents gave you
Every girl you meet, you become her "Meet" (mate)
You know my funda
Days and girls must change at the break of dawn
Enough. Stop flattering yourself. Cut it out, guys
I've tried the bridegroom's uniform a dozen times
But I'm still very scared. You ought to be too
A marriage brings not only an engagement ring and a wedding ring...
there's another ring too. What?
Suffering! So my friend, live it up to your heart's content tonight
Because with the sunrise tomorrow, you're gonna be finished!
"A bachelor..."
"has taken the bait"
"The poor chap..."
"has fallen in the trap"
"Just a couple of days of moonlit romance..."
"followed by dark nights"
"Take it from me, O bridegroom"
"It's just a matter of time. You're gonna face the music"
"A bachelor..."
"has taken the bait"
"The poor chap..."
"has fallen in the trap"
"Trapped in her mesmerising eyes..."
"you're carried away, because she loves you"
"A few sweet words that led to her future being secured"
"You'd better know the bitter truth..."
"better see the face behind the mask"
"Do not venture anywhere near her house"
"It's just a matter of time. You're gonna face the music"
"Yet another bachelor..."
"takes the bait"
"Laugh today, for you have to cry tomorrow..."
"your peace and happiness, you're going to lose"
"You'll stand up when she asks you to..."
"you'll have to go to bed, when she so bids"
"You'll have to become a slave..."
"you'll have to grovel before her"
"So better you come back, my friend"
"It's just a matter of time. You're gonna face the music"
"Yet another bachelor..."
"has taken the bait"
"The poor chap..."
"has fallen in the trap
"Just a couple of days of moonlit romance..."
"followed by dark nights"
"Take it from me, O bridegroom"
"It's just a matter of time. You're gonna face the music"
How many incantations are you going to recite, priest?
Weren't you paid to hurry up? All right, all right
Put the bridal necklace around her neck, son
Hurry up. Hurry up
This guy's lost it all right!
Go on, tiger! Bell the cat!
But I've never before... you know what I mean?
What difference does it make? You never knew how to ride a bicycle
But you learnt. There's no difference between riding a bicycle and this
Once you sit on the bicycle, everything will happen on its own!
All you got to know is when to apply the brakes!
Or she's going to spring a pregnant tummy!
Go on!
All the best on your life imprisonment!
But I was here to have my nuptial night!
We'll have a nuptial night...
that won't let you sleep all your life
Enough! I can't do it anymore!
I'm exhausted! I'm no machine. I've been at it for an hour
I told you not to stop! You got to do it at least thrice more
You got tired quickly even yesterday. C'mon! Give it all you have!
Go on, get up... you got to do the pushups too
I've been paying for it in the last three years anyway
What...? Push ups... that's what I'm doing
Bindiya, did you see my glasses somewhere?
Must be around somewhere, Mother
I wonder which scoundrel cast an evil eye on my eyesight
I just can't see without my glasses. Hurry up, Bindiya...
Brock Lesner's going to break Kurt Angle's legs on WWF
The sofa's legs have broken! Not the sofa, it's my back!
Is that you, Amar...? Yes
You took me for a sofa and plonked yourself on me!
Thank God it was you and not the sofa
Sofas are so expensive nowadays. What?
You're worried about the sofa and not me...? Get up!
Thank you, dear
Listen carefully! My nephew is coming on a transfer from Delhi soon
If he sees that my soninlaw is such a skinny little guy...
I'm going to lose face in the community!
Not to worry, Mother. I'm going to feed him bittergourd and mint juice...
and make a Tarzan out of him! Not Tarzan, my dear. The Undertaker!
Have you made the potato pancakes with lots of clarified butter?
Oh yes, there's the carrot halwa too, Mummy
Can I have also have a pancake, Mummy? You'll get a slap instead
Now go and get ready quickly. It's time to leave for the clinic
And here's your pocketmoney for the day
20 rupees, to take you to the clinic. How about my return...?
Oh yes. How about some coffee?
I'm the one who fills up people's dental cavities and makes the money
And I got to ask you for pocketmoney! Yes
Because you mustn't eat outside. Because you mustn't drink and smoke!
Now go and take a bath!
Go... and take a bath!
Scoundrels! You're laughing at me?
Have you ever considered what your buddy's been through these 3 years?
Guys get cars in dowry. They get scooters and computers
And look at me! I've got a motherinlaw!
One that was never a daughterinlaw!
But wherever you guys are...
I'm sure you're still having a roaring honeymoon right now
Even if there's no moon in the sky...
the honeymoon happens with honey every night!
Don't tell me! Of course
That's exactly why I'm late at work every day
When one works hard in the night, he'll obviously wake up late, won't he?
But I wake up early in the morning at six every day
You mean you wake up early and even go to sleep early!
Gita and I've planned to watch a blue film together, you know?
Blue film? You mean porn?
Yes, my wife never hesitates in trying out something new
New discoveries after all come from experimentation
Take Newton, for instance. There he lay under the tree...
when the apple fell on him and he had discovered the law of gravity
I too will have a nuptial night as I lie in bed!
My wife will pounce on me the moment I get home!
What are you doing? Touching my husband's feet
I beg you, don't keep touching my feet like this!
Why not? A woman's heaven lies at her husband's feet
The heaven's a bit above the feet, not "at" the feet!
What things are you saying? So you get what I'm saying?
Oh yes, you spoke about your heart, didn't you?
I have a splitting headache! Want me press your head?
You won't press what you must! What?
My throat! Why would I press your throat?
If I had such ideas, why would I observe so many fasts for your long life?
You're increasing my lifespan all right...
but you're snatching my youthfulness from me!
If it isn't this Goddess, it's that one...
some excuse or the other!
You've launched one attack after another on my happiness for a month!
A month of abstention from tomorrow. Abstention...?
You mean, this month's gonna play villain and ruin my fun?
But you aren't observing a fast today, are you?
Let the flower of love blossom tonight!
No, I got to attend a whole night session of prayer
Whole night? Yes, I was waiting for you to come
I must leave now
Ramu, any patient out there? There is, sir. A lady
And it appears as if she's been waiting for lifetimes, not just today
Who is she? Miss Saxena
Saxena!
Out of fright, my heart's hammering away wildly
Check it out
Ramu, do what you will, but get rid of her
Why? She's one battery...
that's always ready to charge me! And I want to remain dead
Sir, the world says, "Give me red" And you want to stay dead?
Stop arguing and do as I say. Tell her that I took ill...
and left the clinic! Then how will you go out, sir?
How're you doing, Amar? I'm fine. How're you?
How's your practice coming along?
Till there's a virile species of human beings in the world...
sexologists like us are going to have a roaring practice
Yes, darling?
No, I'm going to be late tonight
I'm putting in extra hours
You know how many patients I have
At times, I have to attend to two of them together
You go ahead and eat. Not me...
I'll eat outside
Doctor, may I ask you something? Sure, go ahead
You said you'd be late. And she agreed, without a word?
What's so great about that?
Never let the wife bully you. Or she becomes a nuisance
You must forever remind her that you wear the pants in the family. Not she
That's all right. Keep the tea here and get on with the laundry
As you command, Bindiyaji
What are you thinking about? Nothing
You're right. They ought to be reminded that we wear the pants in the family
Wait for me in the car, I'll join you soon
Ever since I've employed these two girls as nurses...
I have hordes of patients! Take this instance a few days earlier
There was this guy who just couldn't get it up
But ever since he saw them, it's up on salute. Get it?
I suggest you too employ a sexy nurse for your dispensary
Actually, I find it very strange to deal with women
But I'm comfortable with guys. No, don't get very comfortable with me
That's not how it is! In such matters, I'm a worshipper of love
For a moment, I thought you were angling for a man, you know!
Prem babu... What is it?
So how did it go last night? I don't have words to describe it
Guess what's in my hand. What?
A bluefilm. Inspired by your words last night...
I have convinced Snehlata to do an experiment
Subramaniam is also going to be late at work from tomorrow!
This scapegoat's about to be slain! He's lost it
I can't believe it's you in person! Where were you?
But I'm here! How've you been? Great! How've you been?
Faggots!
They're hugging in the middle of the road. Excuse me
In the middle of the road...
Amar? You? Doctor!
Let me introduce you to my darling. This is Prem!
"In such matters, I'm a worshipper of love"
Love on the open streets...? What a shame!
What's so shameful about it?
Prem and I've been buddies since we were in college
You mean, you love each other from so many days?
Oh yes! Why don't you join us? What rubbish!
Lay off! What are you doing?
Wait, doctor...
The poor doc must be imagining the two of us in a pose of Kamasutra!
Give me a fag. Mine are over. Fag...?
You've given it up? No ways, dude
Why must I give it up? I light up a couple of packets in a day
But I don't have any now. Never mind. We'll send for it
A packet of cigarettes, please. Very well, sir
Remember, this used to be our haunt during our college days?
Times have changed, but not this place
The same tables, the same chairs... isn't it?
Any news of Meet? Or is he still hunting cats in Delhi?
He married a rich jeweller's daughter in Delhi and settled down there
But I'm told he has come back to Mumbai and has started a jewellery showroom
All said, he found the right match. Oh yes
He was always after virgins
I got an idea... No, no...
Listen! Let's have a reunion, man!
Let the three of us get together and have a blast
Not three, four of us. Four?
You, Meet, me and our booze!
Meet hasn't come as yet. The star will make a late entry
Look! There at the bar!
He started the moment he arrived! Not a word to him, c'mon!
Hail Shiva! Hail Lord Rama!
We're sorry, we didn't know... You guys can't do better
When you don't find a chick, you manage with any Tom, Harry or Dick!
Who are you, mister?
Despo, chicken... it's me! Meet!
What's wrong with you? What clothes have you worn?
The whole of India wears what is the lastest fashion
But what Meet wears becomes the latest fashion!
Never mind all this!
So how's it going, chicken?
You still have a valid honeymoon licence or has it already expired?
Marriage and life are chugging along just fine
Wow! And how about you, despo? Are you happy or...?
Are you still keeping yourself happy?
Look, guys. Between a monkey in a cage...
and man in a marriage, there's not much difference
Even if they want to jump around...
there's just one tree they can mount in the cage!
Are you living in a jungle of trees with your wife then?
No, my boy. Aanchal and I live in our beautiful lovenest
You know me. Girls and bankruptcy can't twist even a strand of my hair
Really? So how come your hair's all jelled to your skull?
You've been sitting under the tree and letting the streetside barber...
work on your hair. What would you know about hairstyles?
The Meet who feasted on a lavish spread every day...
is satisfied with a single dish nowadays?
No way! Aanchal is no ordinary dish
She's a wish every man prays to God for
But He grants such wishes only to a chosen few
What an understanding wife I have. No nagging or meddling!
She gives me so much of space, sometimes I think I'm on earth...
and she's in outerspace!
Sweetheart, I don't know what gets into me the moment you leave home
Life is so short! In this short life...
I don't want to miss a single expression on your face...
nor a single moment of our togetherness or the words you speak!
Oh yes. All over again...? We did it half an hour ago, didn't we?
Half an hour...? You know what could happen in half an hour?
A whole episode of a soap could get over in half an hour
Water in the freezer turns to ice in half an hour
What's half an hour? Half a second's separation from you...
reduces me to half of myself, sweetheart!
Could I have some water?
I had already drunk from it
Say it louder! So that everyone can hear you
Happy...?
Very happy!
May I go back now?
Okay, sweetheart. I'll call again, okay?
These new phones... they just don't have the range!
Your drink is over?
This will be the last order, sir. What?
In that case, get us six bottles more
Because no order can stop us from drinking all night, right?
"Our friendship..."
"we shall never abandon"
Shut that radio!
My friend and he has such a crass voice!
I've met my buddies after years
I'm going to sing to my heart's content today
See? Your song has made my mobile weep
Where are you?
You know how late it is?
Network problem...? It's better there
He said his wife gave him a lot of space
So why's she calling again and again?
Go on, sweetheart. Sweetheart...
where are you? Right here. With Amar and Prem
May I come over? I'll get to meet the two of them too
No! Don't come here! I'm coming home soon
What's wrong with you, Aanchal?
Is this any way to behave? Is this what I taught you?
Why're you calling me again and again for such trivial things?
Didn't I tell you, when I'm with my friends...
I don't like you disturbing me with your calls
I'll stay out as long as I want to, understand?
Go to sleep!
He sure wears the pants. What?
You won't understand
Don't you dare call again...
I knew it! This guy's been fibbing!
Meet, you've been making fools out of us all this while?
He was enacting a drama of lording over his wife!
Where was the need to do all this, my friend?
Yes, I lied! I lied that my wife gives me space!
My wife is like the satellite station in space...
that hovers on me all 24 hours to keep a watch over me!
She's a glue even the adhesive companies will sponsor!
Even when we go to the movies, she books two seats all around us!
So that no good looking girl gets to sit by me
This jelled hair, you see? It's no trendy hairstyle
She got the streetside barber to work on me under a tree!
So that my stylish hairlocks don't make a girl swoon over me
Friends, I'm not just a monkey who's being held in the cage
I've also been tied to the tree in the cage!
Don't cry, Meet. Don't
Your wife is at least after you all 24 hours, like a satellite
If only my wife found time from Shankar, Kishan and Pawan...
she would run after me
What? Your wife's having an affair with all three of them?
No! Lord Shankar, Lord Krishna and Lord Hanuman, of the Pawan (air)
Whenever I try to touch her...
I feel as if I'm ringing the bell in a temple!
It's bells for you
But my wife and her mother play the symphony for me!
They aren't just mother and daughter. They come from the WWF!
They keep banging me to the ground every day of my life in the ring!
Our plight makes it clear to me today
Why most men die of heartattack! Why?
Because women don't have a heart!
These wives drive us to our deaths!
There's no fun or frolic in our lives!
It's like a dish that has no spice to it!
It's an icecream without any cream! It's a lentilcurry...
that has had no seasoning!
I'm sick of having the same insipid lentilcurry day after day!
I got an idea! No, Prem! No idea
Whenever I see that look in your eyes, he's going to get us killed again!
We always weep when we listen to you
As if we aren't weeping right now! Think
One smile from a beautiful girl makes us puff our chests in pride
But imagine what would happen if a girl not only smiled...
but also said a few loving words to us?
What if she had hugged us? What if she had given us a kiss?
What are you getting at?
Don't we go out to eat on every weekend?
We do And why do we?
Why? Because the food at home...
is so boring. One needs to eat the biryani outside once in a while
Man begins to hate the same lentilcurry he gets at home every day!
That's just where our marriages are at the moment!
If we don't get a taste of the biryani outside...
the lentilcurry, I mean...
we'll begin to hate our wives! Hang on! What do you mean?
I mean, if we aren't getting love and fun from our wives...
why don't we find love outside and have a ball?
He's gone mad! You've lost it!
You're going to have us killed! Hey!
Take it from me. This is the only way of bringing the fun back into our lives!
I am not saying that we don't love our wives
But right now, we need love from someone else!
So let's have an affair and our marriages will get better!
If my wife gets to know, I won't have a marriage at all!
Affair! How can one have an affair just like that?
You need a girl to have an affair. A girl!
Are you saying that, Meet? You? You used to change girls every morning!
I used to. Past tense! Nothing has changed!
Try the arena again! All the maidens will want to play ball with you!
Don't tell me! Of course!
I hate saying you're right...
but you're right for the first time in your life!
Meet, you too? Loyalties swapped? No, no... listen to me!
From what I've heard, when a man is unfaithful with his wife...
his guilty conscience begins to torment him!
And because of that, he tries double as much to keep his wife happy!
Taking Prem's advise...
and having an affair with a sexy girl...
might lead us to love our wives even more!
What a thirdrate philosophy!
It's the right philosophy!
It's decided then! For a month from today...
we won't have the lentilcurry at home! We'll find a restaurant...
where we get the biryani with all the meat!
Let's meet after a month and tell each other...
how many times we have enjoyed the delicacies on offer outside!
But... But what...?
Why're you such a chicken? C'mon, Amar!
Get out of the cage and become the king of the jungle!
Call from Bindiya. Take my advise. Refuse the call!
Yes, Amar! Don't take the call
Else, this phone will be the thorn in your path for a whole month ahead!
Refuse it! How will I refuse it...?
Refuse it, my tiger! Refuse it! C'mon, Amar!
Show courage! Don't take it!
"Fun..."
"fun"
"My heart's a free bird. Do not put in a cage..."
"let our gaze meet, if it has to"
"Let's have fun and frolic, let's have nights of excitement"
"Fun..."
"fun, fun, fun"
"My heart's a free bird. Do not put in a cage..."
"let our gaze meet, if it has to"
"Let's have fun and frolic, let's have nights of excitement"
"This one has an intoxicating gait..."
"this one has pink cheeks"
"This one has all the airs"
"This one's consent is amazing..."
"this one's refusal is amazing"
"And this one's refusal is also her consent"
"Yes, oh yes, yes, yes"
"Let's hug in love, you'll have your peace"
"Here's your chance, have all the fun, make the best of this moment"
"Live it up without a worry"
"The wife's at home. There are other fishes outside"
"That's the whole truth, yes, yes, yes!"
"Yes... yes, yes, yes!"
"Give me a kiss, give me a hug, there is no ban on love"
"My heart's a free bird. Do not put in a cage..."
"let our gaze meet, if it has to"
"Let's have fun and frolic, let's have nights of excitement"
"Fun..."
"fun, fun, fun"
Tell me something, Sheetal. Aren't you happy here?
Excuse me...? Aren't you happy here...?
I am happy sir. Very very happy! So where is the charming smile...
which made me happily give you this job?
Doctor, wait here. What is it?
You ran away so soon yesterday. You couldn't meet Prem properly
That meeting was enough. In the brief meeting you had...
you made such a lasting impression on his heart
What...? Yes. He kept chanting your name
The litup face, the tight pants... he went crazy over you
He wants to meet you. Why...?
He has a problem and he's dying to have you cure him, doctor
May I take an appointment for him? Sure... no, no!
I'm busy! All month! All my life!
Hey doctor... listen
That's what I'm fixing, sir
Sir, it's a call from Miss Saxena. Shall I tell her you're unwell...
that you haven't come to work? No, call her over
What? Yes
I'll not only see her today, I'll even see how she pines
Once and for all, I'll fix it all up
But sir, she's an everready battery? That's exactly why I'm calling her
I'm absolutely ready today to get charged and deliver!
Ramu, no more dead! Give me red!
Get to work!
Lord! Send that beauty to me! Not him... to me!
Can you help me?
I'm here only for you, Miss... Lily
Please sit down
What can I do for you?
I've come to open up here
An account
You will help me, won't you?
This is the first time I'm opening up, you see...
But I open up everyday! I'll happily help you open up!
You've solved my worries. No problem...
just fill up this form...
and collect the cheque book and the pass book this evening
This evening...? Oh God
Actually, my husband is going abroad this evening
I'm going to be all alone at home in the night
All alone...? Absolutely
In that case, you don't have to come. I'll come over to your place
In the night. Really?
Will you take all the trouble for me? No trouble at all
That's the motto of our bank. Door to door service
Just give me the address. Sure
I will eagerly await your arrival
Tonight
Prembabu, my wife is out of town too
With whom...? You're right! Lord!
If you keep treating me to such great food...
I'm going to get into the habit of eating out every day
That's what I intend to do. I want to eat out every day
And should we eat together, it'll be even more fun
You're such a gem of a person. And lonely too
Will you have dinner with me tonight? To rid me of my loneliness?
I hope this is not a dream
Sheetal, see all the dreams you want to, right now
Because tonight, I'm neither going to let you sleep, nor dream
I'll be back in a moment
I thought you'd be rusty after years of inactivity!
But no, man! You're still the best!
Satellite...? What's she doing here?
If she catches me with Sheetal...
the cableconnection is going to be cut off from my life forever!
Under the table, Meet! Duck for cover!
Sweetheart...
Sweetheart!
What are you doing here? That's exactly what I want to know
What are you doing here? I wanted to go to the bathroom
The bathroom at the showroom is awful. So I came here
Lovely bathroom. Wow!
This is great! I was about to telephone you
Me...? What for? I missed you, sweetheart
Let's sit here and have an icecream. Icecream...?
I have a terrible cold! Cold?
Let's go and see the doctor! Yet, let's get out of here!
Excuse me, sir. Where to...? Your bill?
Strange restaurant! They give you a bill for a visit to the bathroom!
Give the bill at the table. Not here... the table!
Don't you guys know...? Give it at the table!
Let's go to the doctor. Come...
He will pay the bill. Who? Him...?
You're such a sweetheart...
How are you keeping now, doctor? Better. I'm absolutely all right
You ought to be too! You're so fit, so energetic!
Through the shirt I can see your muscles, without the shirt...
Please lie down. I mean, sit down. Sure
Doctor, don't let anything remain unfinished today
Whatever you have to do, just get it over with!
Of course. You look great. You've maintained a great figure
Where have I maintained it? I've put on so much of weight
Touch and see... see
I wouldn't call it flab. I'd say, there's more of you to love
You do know how to press all the right buttons on a woman
Open your mouth
Can you see something?
Yes, everything Is it a very bad cavity?
I haven't ever seen a better cavity
What are you looking at, doctor? Nothing... I was just looking
Will you just keep looking? Won't you do something?
I'll be back in a jiffy
So you aren't a female! You are...
After the operation, I'll really become Miss Saxena
No...
Come back to me!
I intended to go to Japan, I got to China
I wished to play the pipe, I discovered it was a flute!
Please come. I've been waiting for you
For a beauty like you... I actually came rushing!
Here's your passbook and chequebook
Keep the passbook with you
Let's go into the bedroom
Lovely bedroom! So spacious... it even has a bed!
Sit down. Your bed is so soft
It's because I'm very delicate
I like soft things. Soft...?
With the exception of strong tea
Isn't it a bit hot here? Yes, it's very hot
So why don't you take off your clothes?
What? Relax
A glass of hot milk
I'll be back in a jiffy
Drink it up
See, children? You will be strong like him if you drink milk
Different flavours. Strawberry, pistachio and banana
If you must have milk, try Lele!
Uncle, catch!
How often have I told you not to touch my feet!
Why're you so angry?
You appear to be very tired. Yes, I am!
I have a glass of hot milk for you. Have some, please
Milk...? Yes, it's a new brand. Lele milk
Lele...?
Different flavours! Strawberry, pistachio and bananas!
What are you doing...?
I told you, madam. Goods once sold, are not taken back in exchange
One moment, please
I wanted to talk to you... I'm busy with the customer
Listen, how about talking it over at the restaurant at lunchtime?
I've brought my lunchbox from home today
Listen...
I'm requesting you... I'm really sorry, madam
I can't exchange this necklace. Do it
What, sir? Exchange it
But how about our company's policy? Our company has just one policy
I mean the customer's always right. Go and bring another!
Actually, the necklace isn't as priceless as you are
What? The customer is like God
He's worshipped! That reminds me...
if I'm not wrong, are you my sister Pooja's friend?
Pooja...? Are you Pooja's brother? Yes. And you?
God, you've changed so much! So have you
I'm just as I was
However you are, you are just amazing!
Remember? We met at Rocky's party last time?
Rocky...? Oh yes, I remember. You had had so much to drink...
you took off your pants and jumped into the swimming pool in your green undies!
You vomitted so much, you couldn't even stand straight!
Happens some times. What's her name... Sapna!
You grabbed at her skirt and she gave you a tight slap!
Your cheek had gone red like a tomato
You looked so cute!
Really, Akash, I can't tell you how nice it is to meet you!
One moment, one moment. You're making a mistake
His name is not Akash. It's Meet
If he isn't Akash, I'm not any Pooja's friend either
What? Yes
But you're quite interesting
You? What are you doing here?
Looks like I'm slain! Where did you get my address?
You left the address behind, when you collected the necklace
Lucky me, right? How did you get in?
The key to your house lies beneath the doormat outside
You know the outcome of barging into someone's house like this?
No. But I'm hoping it will be as beautiful as you are
As for the rest, it's all in your hands
And suppose I hand you over to the cops?
I've come to hand myself over to you. You can do what you want to
As far as I can guess, you won't do that
You believe so much in me? In you. And in the self
Maybe you don't know any Pooja...
but this brother of Pooja you will get to know and even love
How am I to believe you? What if you flash a knife and rob me?
I'm here to have myself robbed
But you can search me, if you wish to
Not so soon
Wait a little
Sweet is the fruit of patience. Very sweet
"When we secretly meet on the roof..."
"we'll play the lovegame"
"When we secretly meet on the roof..."
"we'll play the lovegame"
"Everything else won't matter..."
"love will remain the thing that is main"
"When we secretly meet on the roof..."
"we'll play the lovegame"
"Everything else won't matter..."
"love will remain the thing that is main"
"On the roof, in the rain"
"Don't play truant. Listen to me"
"You must know how it hurts to stay away from you"
"How can I listen to you?"
"We had better stay apart for a few days"
"Smile like that and you'll drive me crazy..."
"how will I find any peace?"
"My pining clearly shows, I'm feeling just the same"
"On the roof, in the rain"
"What if someone spots us here?"
"Think of what it might lead to"
"Lovers are never bothered about the outcome"
"Once they've made up their minds, that is the thing they do"
"Don't touch me like this..."
"it awakens a pain"
"There's no loss. There's everything to gain"
"On the roof, in the rain"
"When we secretly meet on the roof..."
"we'll play the lovegame"
"Everything else won't matter..."
"love will remain the thing that is main"
"On the roof, in the rain"
My dear Amar! This evening...
To the month that has gone by!
Let's clink glasses!
Why are we meeting at your place tonight?
As usual, my wife is away at the allnight prayer session
Hey Meet, did you have the biryani?
I had it made just the second day! Don't tell me!
No common biryani! It was a royal chickenbiryani!
For a few days, I thought I wouldn't even land peanuts, forget biryani!
I'm glad nobody fed you milk. Listen!
And three weeks ago there came into my life a girl...
I couldn't even have dreamed of
Look like chicken has it made!
What was it with you, Prem? Late maybe, but firm and great
Two weeks ago, she came into my life like the Spring
If you see my girl, you're going to be left openmouthed!
And if you see my girl, your tongue will touch your knees!
If you see my girl...
your tongues and hearts will lie at her feet
Really? So let's see whose girl is more beautiful
Openmouthed...? Blown out of your brains?
Is she your girl? No doubts
So which one is mine?
How's this possible? Your girl and my girl look alike!
One minute, one minute!
I got it! Must be twin sisters!
Double roles, you know. Oh yes! Thank God!
I had heard about twins. Where did the triplets spring from?
My girl's name is Monica
Utter your buddy's girlfriend's name with respect. Else, I'll kill you
Thank you, Prem. Why're you thanking me?
Because I'm Monica's mate. She's mine
Monica belongs neither to you nor him. She's mine!
We're having an affair for the last two weeks
What? You scoundrel! You try to seduce my girlfriend?
Prem, I always knew you are in the habit of staring at people's plates
That you'd attack my plate, I never could imagine!
The two of you are making a mistake. Actually, Monica's in love with me
She spoke a few words with you out of pity...
and you imagine a cosy time with her?
Listen to this carefully! Monica dances only to my tune!
Bandmaster, skip the music or I'll bust you!
Try it. I'm not wearing bangles! Really...?
You, Monica...? Here?
Why not? When I can steal your hearts...
can't I steal the key to Prem's house?
Out to bell the cats, weren't you?
Now put your tails down and quietly take a seat
What do you want to say? Talk softly
Why do you men always yell so much?
This is exactly how you guys were yelling at Bandstand the other night
And I heard it all. What?
Yes. Your plans of eating biryani, instead of lentilcurry
Your plans of cheating on your wives
I then made enquiries about where you live and so on and so forth
And then I made the plan of trapping the three suckers who wanted biryani
I first went to Meet's showroom
Under the pretext of exchanging the necklace
And just as I had planned it, he lost his heart to me
I then went to Amar's clinic
To show him the pain in my gums. And to become a pain in his neck
And finally, I opened an account in Prem's bank
An account that would forever keep milking his own account
You mean, you have played with our real lust...?
With our love...? Yes!
You were dying to quit the lentilcurry at home...
and eat the biryani outside, weren't you?
If you guys don't want me to go to your wives...
and show them the bill of your meal...
I must have a million rupees each from you by tomorrow evening
A million? I wouldn't give you ten cents!
Yes! If you stand at the signal with a begging bowl...
we still won't give you any alms! What say, Amar?
Yes!
All right. In that case, I'll wait here to meet Geeta
She's a woman who worships her husband's picture
When she sees this picture of yours with me...
you'll be the one at the signal with a beggingbowl, not me
Why haven't you given a thought to modelling?
You're very photogenic. What have you done, Prem?
Not even an ass would let anyone take such a photo of his!
You're among the list of the asses too
What...? Take a look
If Prem can become a model, you can surely become a film star
Look at the light in your face. Monica...
tell me that you haven't taken my pictures! Please!
When your wife kills you...
this is the picture I'll have published in the newspapers the next day
Please don't show our wives these photos!
We'd have given you the money if we had it
But we just don't have the money!
But your wives have all the money
Although you work in a bank, you live in such a luxurious house
Even if the three of you are absolute idiots...
you have married very wisely
I'll wait for the three of you at Bandstand tomorrow
If you don't show up with the money, be sure...
Could you give me your carkeys? What for?
I won't come in a rickshaw to collect such a huge amount, will I?
That won't look nice?
Out on the streets, aren't we? We're doomed!
We were quietly enjoying the lentilcurry at home...
and your idea of biryani made a bone stick in our throats!
So you're blaming me for it? As if you're the only one in trouble
We're all in a soup! Shit. Shit!
If Bindiya gets those pictures, she's going to rip me apart!
Rip you apart? Before that Monica's going to make mincemeat out of us!
Not even the dogs will eat us! I haven't tasted anything either
And I have to foot such a hefty bill. You mean you didn't...?
Yes! From that lovenest, I didn't get a chicken. A got a big egg!
She said, "Wait just a little more"
"Sweet is the fruit of patience" "Very sweet"
Which means we haven't had anything to eat or drink...
and the damage caused was worth 3 million!
Even if I save my pocketmoney everyday...
I won't be able to put together such a huge amount in my lifetime!
I only work in the bank. And the bank doesn't belong to my fatherinlaw!
But whatever I have belongs to my fatherinlaw
I suggest you keep her engaged in a conversation
I'll wring her neck from behind. No, no!
Let's put her on skewers and grill her on a low flame!
One minute. We'll give out a contract for her killing
And I'll instruct the hitman to torture her to death!
Know what? Let's pay her quietly
Why didn't you say that earlier?
Why did "Who Wants To Become A Millionaire" go off the air?
If I don't have the money, Monica will bring me out on the streets
What are you doing on the terrace? Haven't you gone for a bath?
If I had the money, I'd take a holy dip!
What...? Nothing. I'm going for a bath
Darling, can I have a cup of tea? You take this for a restaurant?
You go to the loo after a cup of tea every day
But you've had ten since this morning and you still won't go to the toilet
How can I feel lighter...? She's choked up mine!
What...? Nothing, holy mother!
Sin! Sheer sin! Here comes the scandalsheet
Another robbery at a senior citizen's house
And this time, they robbed a 60year old of 13,00,000 rupees!
Read on...
The police believe an entire gang is involved
They first ring the doorbell, gain entry into the house...
and clean out the place! Look at the guts of the gang
They leave behind their symbol after committing the theft!
A goldencoloured glove. Can you imagine!
Mummy, I'm going to the clinic. So must I offer you a ceremony?
Tell Bindiya I'll be late this evening. All right, I will
She's going to a kittyparty after shopping and will be late too
Please make sure you lock the doors securely enough
Why?
Sinful times, you see. Worry about yourself!
I'll leave now. My respects
My feet are down there
Sweetheart! See what I've got for your breakfast
What happened? Why the long face? What will I tell you?
Whom will you tell, if not me? Forget it. Leave me alone
All right. Whom will I tell, if not you...?
I've received a letter from Ramlalji. Ramlalji?
Yes. Thirty years ago, when my father first came to Mumbai...
he had just a tenrupee bill in his pocket
Ramlalji then gave him a house, food and a job
He gave him support. All that for just ten rupees?
Hear me out first!
Before dying, father told me...
"My son, no matter how many opportunities God gives you..."
"to repay Ramlalji's favours, it's too little"
And today I received a letter from him
His daughter has to be married and the inlaws demand a dowry
For the first time, he has asked me for help
You tell me. How will I help him? How...?
What are you doing...? We got to help him
No, Aanchal! No! I'm not one of those shameless men...
who will distribute their wives' money among their own friends
But whatever I possess is yours too
No, Aanchal! I can never take money from my wife!
All right. As you wish
Father...
Forgive me, father. I can't keep the promise I made to you
Sweetheart! Please don't cry!
You will have to take the money from me!
How much money has he asked for? A million
What...? By this evening
But I only have half a million at home
You have a fixed deposit in the bank! Really? Let's go!
I'll make the blind old hag sniff at the chloroform and put her to sleep
Bloody wretch!
Who is it at this hour?
Coming... where are my glasses?
Coming
Who's this? No one
My glasses...?
I said I'm coming!
Who is it? The milkman, madam!
The milkman? At this hour? Why have you come so late?
My buffalo woke up a bit late this morning. That's why!
Strange buffalo you have! Wait till I open the door
Milkman! What way of selling milk is this?
Milkman! You come at the wrong time and do the wrong things?
I'll make a yogurtshake out of you!
Where...?
God! I've never asked You for anything till today
But I ask You today. Do something...
that makes Laxmi (money) Lie at my feet
God! I asked for Laxmi. Not Mahalaxmi!
She does nothing except falling at my feet!
I have a small request to make. Make it quick
The social organisation I'm working with...
has been collecting donations for the homeless children
Where will I give donations from? You don't have to give anything
We have collected the money
It's just a small attempt to give the children a new life
How small an attempt is it?
12,05,350 rupees
12,05,350 rupees...?
Yes, and who better than you to deposit the money in a bank?
You will deposit the money for me, won't you?
Me...?
Great! You're a boon from God! You're the succour of my life!
You are my life itself... What are you doing? Get up!
By giving me this responsibility
Forget it! Forget the money from today!
What? I mean, stop worrying about it!
I'll put it in the right place! Okay
I'm leaving for a discourse. Very well. Go on
The bag, darling...? Sorry
Sorry, kids. If I have to escape being rendered homeless...
you'll have to remain homeless for some more days. Sorry again
Chicken, all the money's now in this bag
If it goes missing, I'm going to clean you up
Clean me up? If the washingmachine in your house conks out...
I'll send my motherinlaw over. No washingmachine washes better!
I got myself washed up too. But a fake one
I tore up my clothes, put on a makeup and went home...
and said...
What could I do? There were four of them, and I was all alone
They took away a million. They left behind 2,05,350 rupees
Looks like they needed the million. Don't worry about the money!
Thank God, you're hale and hearty! My prayers have borne fruit!
I'll fast even more as a thanksgiving to God
What...? Yes
So you're going to starve for some more months?
This gun called Monica has killed my hunger altogether!
Look! Monica's car!
See? How relaxed she is? Obviously, with suckers like us around
We've brought the money
Why isn't she saying anything?
Who killed her? Not I. Why ask me?
Why should we believe you? Prem, don't act too smart
Why don't you ask him? He said, let's wring her neck!
Look! Rope marks around her neck. Yes
Amar...? Why are you guys suspecting me?
I will kill her, my foot! I've never swatted a fly yet
He's right
Photos? She was supposed to give us the photographs
Yes. Must be in her bag
Damn, not here
I say, let's leave the corpse alone and get out of here. Let's go, Amar
Where the hell...? You want the police to find the corpse in my car...
so that I go to the gallows, right? Why do you want to trap us?
All of us are trapped
None of us will move until we dump this corpse
Whatever. Do it fast
Alms
Goodness me! One beauty, three slinks
What a scene! Look, we are in a hurry
Hero, how can you leave without offering me something?
You must give me something. What say, baby?
Well, doesn't she talk? What's wrong with her?
Nothing wrong... she's unwell
Let me see... No need. Amar, give some money
What the hell...? Give some change
God bless you. May you live long
Long...? Live
See you
I'm scared. Chicken! If you talk, I'll kill you
I don't want to be jailed
Damn! Dr Kapadia has seen us
What the hell were you doing? As it is he thinks you and I are carrying on
Shut up, guys
Over here
Let's go!
Now what?
Go home, quietly
And remember. We've never met Monica, and I don't know you guys
I don't want to see your faces either. I rue the day I met you again!
That entourage has seen poor Monica off
Whatever, just forget it
If God wills, we won't have trouble again
What's going on here?
Nothing... nothing, sir
We came here for some fresh air, sir
You love fresh air? How about some fresh air inside the police station?
You have seen much of the sea...
let me help you look around the lockup
What happened?
Why are you guys petrified? Oh no, sir... we're just...
You think I don't know what you guys are upto?
You mean sir, you know?
Sonny, try hard as you will, but you can't fool Inspector Sikander
Believe us Inspector, we haven't done anything
It's midnight and you pulled over for booze. How dare you deny it?
Booze...?
No, sir we aren't drunk. You can check if you want
I swear it on my mother, sir
Forget booze, he doesn't even drink milk
We don't do things that the law doesn't permit
No way
Never even try
Go away
Stop!
Remember another thing
There are three things in life...
that remain crooked forever. You can't help it
A dog's tail, the neighbouring country's intention...
and the neck wrung by Sikander
Get lost
That was close. Had the Inspector arrived five minutes earlier...
he'd have... I'm still trembling
Why didn't Monica get the pictures? Hardly matters
Monica is no more, so why be afraid of the pictures?
Amar is right, Meet
Unless we get the pictures, it is a matter of worry
Yes. Right
Bloody wife!
What is it? Come home at once!
What...? What happened?
Come home, I'll tell you. And get those rascals along too
What happened? Aanchal was never so fiery
She also asked me to get the rascals along
What? Yes
Rascals? Yes. She was so enraged...
as if she has seen me with Monica...
Damn! Did Monica deliver all those pictures home?
What are you talking?
Actually darling, the thing is...
Don't call me darling
You thought I'll sit twiddling my thumbs?
You thought I love you so much that I'd even ignore your mistakes, eh?
Isn't that what you thought?
But you have no idea. A woman can hate you...
as much as she loves you. And when the time comes...
she can even take the form of Bellona
And you guys! Shame on you
Not friends, you are monsters
It's so disgusting! I know, you guys must've mislead him
Oh no, not I. Prem is the mastermind
You're lying! Bindu? Here?
All three of us are here. Geeta?
Did you think we wives have no idea what our husbands are upto?
We know every thing. What...?
Yes, we knew that you guys have been plotting since last month
And if the two of you think that I will let my husband...
spend the night of his birthday with you guys, you are wrong
What...? Birthday? Birthday?
Birthday
Had you guys scared, didn't we?
Since the three of you have started roaming around like before...
we wives thought we'd also come together
That's why we worked out a plan to celebrate Meet's birthday together
Meet's birthday, and Monica's deathday
Let's go out and celebrate. We'll eat Biryani
Biryani?
"Sweetheart, don't let go of my hand"
"Come near me... let's dance"
"Sweetheart, don't let go of my hand"
"Come near me... let's shake it"
"I'm not going home so soon"
"I'm going to dance and make you dance too"
"My heart won't heed"
"It's beyond reasoning, my love"
"It knows not my pain"
"I think it's going to kill me"
"Don't torment me, don't provide an alibi"
"Sweetheart..."
"O darling"
"Sweetheart, don't let go of my hand"
"Come near me... let's shake it"
"What's the matter? Why do you seem so lost?"
"Though your eyes are trained on me, you are targetting someone else"
"Ecstasy is all around... so what makes you listless?"
"Come into my arms, I plead"
"Do not go away, do not torment me"
"Sweetheart..."
"O darling"
"Sweetheart, don't let go of my hand"
"Come near me... let's shake it"
"I'm not going home so soon"
"I'm going to dance and make you dance too"
I can't find mummy
She is in the bathroom... I mean, in the bedroom
Go and untie her... I mean, go and meet her
Look her up, I'll be there
Hurry up
Looks like she found the old hag
What happened, mummyji? Who did this to you?
The milkman did. Milkman? Why?
But we've already paid him. Ass
Ass! It was a thief disguised as a milkman
But I boxed the scoundrel so hard, he's not going to forget it
May he rot!
May his seven generations to come go childless
Mummyji, if one generation goes childless...
where will the other six come from? It's not funny
I'll call the cops right away, mummy. Let's do it
No! Why call the police?
What are you saying? The thief was so cruel with mummy...
he even robbed the house. But he didn't take the money
What? How do you know?
I mean, let's check the house out before we call the police
He's smart, sometimes
You're still here? Move it!
Gosh! There's more money now than before
What! What kind of a thief was he?
Instead of robbing, he's left money for us
Let me explain. The burglar did intend to steal...
but the moment he saw mummy, he was enlightened
Her blessed touch made him realise that...
he must quit the path of crime and evil...
and take to the path of truth and righteousness
So he even left behind the money that he must've stolen elsewhere
Amazing, mummy
You are a goddess
If we call the cops in, they will confiscate the money
I'd better call the cops. One minute
The previous idea is better
My dear, keep the money in and lock the safe. Why call the cops?
What the hell have you worn, Geeta?
Why? Don't I look sexy in it?
More than sexy
So let's make love and usher in the bloody Spring, honey
Ghost! Ghost!
Ghost? Where is it? Over there
Only you and me, honey. No one else
Come on
Ghost! Ghost!
Where is the ghost? Over there
What's wrong with you tonight? Whose ghost are you seeing?
Monica's... I mean, nobody's
Then come on, honey! Not tonight, darling
Let's usher in the Spring later. The gardener is unwell tonight
Honey, this...?
Not as precious as the joys you've given me
Still, it's a small attempt to tell you that...
you are invaluable to me
May I ask you something?
If you were to find out that I've done some wrong...
would you be able to forgive me?
Let me check who is here to ruin our romantic moments
Is Meet Mehta in?
What for...?
Call him. Inspector Sikander wants him at the police station
What...? At the police station?
Talk! Or I'll kill you
We'll tell you, sir
Take their statements
Come with me
Last night, you guys were at Band Stand
And we found a dead girl there
Have you seen this girl before?
Tell me. Oh no, sir
It's too beautiful a face to forget
Who was the poor girl, Inspector?
She was Monica. I know
He means... how do you know that she is Monica? I mean, was
We found the driving licence on her. Yes...
she was fond of driving. He means, how did she die?
Accident?
Someone brutally strangled her to death
We searched Monica's house
Any clues? No, sir. Heera Villa, Andheri
We enquired everyone around there, in vain, sir
Search her house again
lt'll only lead us to the assassin. Yes sir
Is it hot inside here? No sir, not at all
It's cool
When a bomb explodes, it's a bang
When a trouser is ripped, the threads come off
And when someone is shit scared inside an airconditioned room...
he sweats
You may go. I'll call you back if I need you
Call us back? Okay sir, we're ready to help you
Even God can't help the assassin now
Wherever he is, he can't escape me for long
I think the swine suspects us. If he finds evidence against us...
he'll make sure we go to the gallows. The photographs! I told you...
the photographs will someday lead us to the gallows. Shit! Shit!
You will send us to the gallows. Bloody shitshit! Back there...
you were shitting from your mouth. What else could I do?
Monica's corpse made me shit in my pants
When did Monica pitch up at Andheri? She was at Love Nest, in Bandra
I think her lovenest is where she used to meet the three of us
Which means, the photographs are there
Let's get there before Sikander and destroy those photographs
No, dude. We can't go there in broad daylight
Let's go at night. As of now...
we go back to work, behave as if nothing happened
lt'll send the signal that every thing is normal...
to the tracker, if there is any
We'll meet up in the evening
What the hell? It won't zip up
What's up? You look so tired, Mr Prem
Forget me. Why are you late? Of late, I too go to bed late...
and wake up late. Thanks to you
Bloody turkey
Sir...? Here?
That's my question. What are you doing here?
I open them here every day. Accounts
Sheer coincidence
You refused to identify Monica...
and you were the one who opened her bank account
I can't remember every client's face, sir
It's a face too beautiful to forget. Didn't you say that?
You won't forget my face, I hope?
Meet?
Damn! Why is the faggot here? Hide, Kapadia
Meet called up to say that you guys are coming over. What's the matter?
Your daddy, Sikander, was at the bank. What...?
He's got to know that Monica had an account in my bank
He found her cheque book
Cool down! Nothing to worry... God, I'm scared!
Zip up, will you? I've been trying since morning
You try it. Let me
Apocalypse! Damn!
Come on!
What are you doing? Nothing sir. Not me
They are at it. Look. What a shame
Times have changed. I feel like puking. Apocalypse
You? Here? I'm here to meet my friend
Ever thought who'd come to meet the two of you in jail?
What's the problem now? I told you, we're not meeting before evening
What's the big problem?
Welcome
The third monkey was just missing
Sir...? Here?
Three things in life come uninvited
Death, loose motions...
and yours truly
Get the appointment file
What are you doing, sir? Do you have a search warrant?
If you touch me again...
I'll cut that hand off and stuff it right there
You will then eat and shit from your mouth
Monica Singh. 5:30 pm, 14th November
You will also tell me that...
so many patients come to you, and you can't remember all of them
Look sir, these little things aren't enough...
to prove that we have something to do with Monica's murder
By coincidence, your memory too seems to be a bit weak
Well, let me remind you
The necklace is beautiful, so is the case
Mehta Jewellers
What a coincidence! Monica met all three of you
And none of you remembers her face
It is a coincidence
Is it also a coincidence that you guys have been showered with coincidences?
Could be a matter of coincidence, sir
Then regrettably for you, it is sheer coincidence...
that inspector Sikander does not believe in coincidences
Start counting your days, guys
Because, I'll send you to the gallows soon
And it's going to be on the basis of evidence, not coincidence
If this hangman finds evidence, we are deadmeat
Let's go to Love Nest and find the photographs, at once
Come on
Monica used to keep the duplicate key under the doormat
Found it
Come on in
You go there... you, there
Gotcha!
I found them! What did you find?
Photographs
Chicken! My darling!
You've saved our lives! Sikander can harm us no more
Sikander! Boo!
Check the door
What seesee? Let me see
See Sikander
Scoot!
Switch on the lights
Looks like someone was here before us
An assassin always returns...
to make sure he hasn't left clues behind
That's his mistake
Search thoroughly. Right, sir
Honey, you didn't call even once since morning
Why did the cops call you? To pass time. It was a mistake
When are you coming? Know what?
We've planned to hang out at the Hanging Garden
I'm also hanging out with my friends. I'll call you back
Honey!
Take a look, go
Careful
Found some papers, sir
Stop droning. What is it? I had dropped a photograph
What...?
Stand back there! Now what?
Prem, call on Monica's number. Hang on
Monica is not home. Shut up
Tell me. Call up
Engage Sikander in a conversation. All right
Sarvodaya Video Library? What?
Do you have "Reshma's Beauty"? What nonsense!
"Naked Beauty" will do
He hung up. Meet is inside!
Found nothing, sir
Let's go
Damn! He has locked us out!
Now what? I need to piss
Shut up! Wanna piss, eh?
Can't you see we're trapped? What am I going to tell Geeta...
when she asks where I was all night? Forget Geeta. What about my wife?
I need to piss! Chicken! Piss into my pocket
He wants to piss! Don't scream. We're stuck here
Go and piss in the flower pot
Come on!
Who are you, sir?
I'm the one who sent Monica to heaven
If I wish, I can arrange for your journey too
You mean, you...? Right
I killed Monica
The fool tried to betray me
But I'm damn sure, you guys won't act so stupid
What do you want from us?
Three million, that you were supposed to give Monica
But you have only two days to organise the money. Only two days
Two days? Yes
I know you guys won't disappoint me
Because the pictures for which you have been hanging here all night...
that's only a piece of trailer. I have the entire film with me
Wanna see?
Look
See? You guys carried her corpse with so much care
You can keep that picture for your album at home
I have the negatives, I can make as many copies as I wish
Two days
Else, these pictures will go to Sikander
And you guys will go to Monica
Now stop hanging there and get cracking. Move
Damn! Wasn't Sikander too much to handle?
Now this blackmailer transpires, to make us dance around like monkeys
I wonder what sin of ours is showing up
What? It's the sin we recently committed
Tell me something. Do we look like idiots?
Someone or the other transpires out of nowhere and blackmails us
Not their fault. We damned ourselves
I think this man is very dangerous
Only a ruthless assassin can murder a beauty like Monica
I tell you, let's give him the money and get him off our backs
Oh really? As if we have money inside our underwear
Oh yes, the money is inside your underwear... I mean, inside your safe
Go home and get it. Go. You will have to steal again
Steal again? That house? Out of question
Hey listen...
You must steal
What? Get on with your drink
You must steal. Yes, you must
So that my motherinlaw gets to smash me again
I'd rather hang myself, or have Sikander shoot me...
than steal into that house and get whacked by my motherinlaw
If you are so eager, why don't you guys go there and steal?
Oh well, so that your motherinlaw gets to smash us, eh?
Why not?
No, we don't want your ideas. Listen to me
Amar, take your wife and her mother out for a movie tonight
There won't be anyone in the house and I and Meet will swipe the safe
What are you thinking of? That...
your ideas are rosy initially
But eventually, it rips us of even our underclothes
It's not happening this time
We'll steal the money tonight and give it to the blackmailer
Then we'll have the photographs...
that Sikander can use to send us to the gallows
That's right. Come what may, we'll ensure our safety
"I've Found Someone" is going houseful. Then let's go back to our house
No, we might find someone there. What?
I mean, we'll find tickets of some other movie
There's an educational movie going on. "Night Queen"
Let's watch it
I think there's no one inside. Empty, you mean?
Good. We'll empty the empty house. Open it, quick
The door is open, too
The door to good fortune has opened, I think. Let's get in
Come on
It's locked. I told the ass to keep the door open
How do we get in now?
Your ideas are dangerous. I quit
Trust me. We'll climb down the roof
Yes, the roof
You offer us popcorn and show us soft porn! Idiot!
Bindu, shut your eyes and follow me
You go first
Why me? I'm younger to you...
by three months! After you
Try again. I am
Try the other keys
What are you doing? Give me support. I can't
Let go of my leg! And grab what?
I'll fall...
Educational film, he said! Was it education?
My head's reeling. I need some fresh air
I'm going to the terrace
Go to the bedroom, I'll go and have some bittergourd juice
You will make it yourself? Sure
Does it take so long to open a safe? I took them out for a movie...
I kept the door open, and you guys haven't done the job yet
But I had given you the combination, didn't I?
I think I'll have to do it myself. Move
I'll never burgle with you again
Passing time, eh? Get her off you
Cut the crap and help me out. Old hag, let him go
Else, I'll count till three. One, two...
Who switched off the lights?
Stop laughing!
I can't open it. Did the old hag change the combination?
Where are you?
Bloody diaper boys! Aren't you ashamed?
Which gang do you belong to? Diaper gang?
Gotcha!
What are you waiting for? Hit the witch
Hit her, will you?
My baby is hurt
Bag?
To hell with your golden glove! You think you're a real burglar?
If Undertaker's mother arrives, she'll break our bones
May I say something, friends?
Now get lost
Thief! Thief!
Shut it!
Shut the door!
Rechristen your gang to Ratbags
Scoot! Move!
Run!
To hell with them! Scoot
Nobody can mess with me!
Amar, my friend...
What happened? Easy
Last night's thrashing still hurts
Is the money safe?
That's what we came to ask you. Where did you hide the money?
I did? You guys stole the money, so you must have it
What rot! Forget stealing, we barely managed to escape your motherinlaw
What? We thought, in the melee...
you must've stolen the money. No way. I gave you the money...
and sent you guys away myself. What?
We don't have the money. What?
Then who has the money?
Come in, Inspector
What are you guys doing here? Guys, what am I doing here?
He's my husband. And they are his friends. Meet and Prem
After the incident last night, I had to call the Inspector
Great. Strange coincidence
Sometimes I feel you guys have longer arms than the law
The police reach the spot after the incident
But you guys are already there. I don't understand
Those concerned have understood
Give me the details of the burglary, madam
Last night when I, my husband and my mother returned home...
after watching a movie, the thieves were already inside
I think there were two of them
Strange
Two thieves. Your husband also has two friends
What do you mean? I'd rather show you something
Constable
Sir, he's the one
Last night, he gave us the money and asked us to leave quickly
What...? Apart from us...
there were two other thieves
And they were your husband's friends. Meet and Prem
But your husband committed a mistake
He took the real burglars for Meet and Prem and gave them the money
What made you think that I'm going to believe...
your baseless allegations against my husband?
I trust my husband implicitly. And I can't stand his humiliation
But... My husband is my Lord
And suspecting the Lord is a sin
Not only him, I also respect the ones...
he has embraced as friends
Ladies, you are defending them. But you don't know them
No one knows my husband better than me
On the basis of a couple of thieves' statement you can suspect my husband
Not I
All right
But till the investigation is over, the money stays with us
Whatever. But please go away from here now
I haven't come across a scoundrel yet who could beat us
I admit, we're evil
But somewhere along the way, we must have done at least one noble deed...
because of which our wives stood by us today
Our wives are so nice
And that makes me realise that I'm rotten than ever
Forgive me, friends. It's my mistake
Had I not provoked you, you guys would not have been in trouble today
I knew it since college days that you were the biggest fool ever
However, if it is stupidity to be your friend...
than I'd rather be a stupid all the way, friend
The things that happened... we are all in the wrong
It's been halfhour and Aanchal hasn't called yet
I'm badly missing my satellite
Mr Meet, call for you. Go on. Must be Aanchal
Honey, I was badly missing you
Of course, you must. If you make the mistake of forgetting me...
you will be history
You? I am
I just called to remind you that this is your last night
Tomorrow morning, be there at Band Stand with the money
Else, Sikander will get the death warrants for the three of you
Listen...
What happened? It was Aanchal, right?
Then who was it?
The blackmailer. What?
Yes. It was the blackmailer
He told me to reach Band Stand with the money tomorrow morning, else...
But what are we going to do? We don't have the money
One way out. We'll go down on our knees
Let's ask for a few days more. What if he doesn't agree?
Then we'll face the punishment for our sins
What...?
You mean, tomorrow morning our wives will find out the truth?
Yes
Buddies, let's go home
The few moments we have, let's spend them with our wives
Tomorrow we might be homeless, and these moments too will be gone
I know I have committed a sin...
that might take an entire lifetime to atone
But Lord, please bless me if You can...
so that I can save my home from being shattered tomorrow
What are you doing?
Don't touch my feet
I know that it enrages you
I'm not enraged this time, Geeta
Don't treat me like God
When you'll realise that I'm no God, that I'm only a human being...
it'll break your heart
My heart belongs to you. And one can't break his own heart
You look very tired
Go to bed. I'll say my prayers and come
Aanchal...
Where are you?
Honey, where were you?
I've been trying your number since long
Besides, you didn't call me even once
I don't know how I forgot
I'll be right back
Forgot?
Life is so short, isn't it?
And in this short life...
every moment that I spent with you...
every word that has come to your lips...
every expression on your beautiful face...
I don't want to miss
Just a second back...
A second?
Even half a second distance away from you tears me into two halves
"My heart always belonged to you..."
"I shall even give up my life for you"
"My heart always belonged to you..."
"I shall even give up my life for you"
"I won't ever betray you, my love"
"I swear by God, my love"
"By God"
"Life would take this new turn;..."
"I never ever imagined"
"I don't believe it"
"Oh, what has it come to"
"How could I be disloyal to you?"
"I seek justice"
"Forgive me"
"This much mercy I seek"
"My heart always belonged to you..."
"I shall even give up my life for you"
"I won't ever betray you, my love"
"I was carried away, I was insane"
"Curse me! I ignored your simplicity"
"I wish to love you more than ever before"
"At your feet, I want to lay Heaven and Earth"
"Snatch away my peace..."
"snatch away my joys..."
"let me have all your sorrows"
"My heart always belonged to you..."
"I shall even give up my life for you"
"I won't ever betray you, my love"
I've always been harsh with you
Because, cigarettes and liquor killed my father
I don't want to lose you
"My tears tell my story"
"Please don't consider my tears worthless"
"My tears shall wash away the stains..."
"and paint them again in the hues of love"
"Please stay with me... I shall err no more"
"I shall never be unfair to you"
"My heart always belonged to you..."
"I shall even give up my life for you"
"I won't ever betray you, my love"
"I swear by God, my love"
"By God..."
"my heart always belonged to you..."
"I shall even give up my life for you"
"I won't ever betray you, my love"
Out with the money, kids
Actually, we don't have the money
What?
Bastards! If you act smart, I'll shoot all of you
Please listen to us at least...
We didn't bring the money because we don't have that much amount right now
We really tried our best but in vain
Then are you here to swat flies? We came to make a request
Please give us some more time. Look, we're not running away
We'll certainly give you your money. Please let us go today
Bastards...
Stay normal, okay? If anyone acts smart, I'll riddle him
What's going on here? Why? Is parking here illegal?
You're talking too much
Who's that? He's our friend. Just arrived
We're showing him around
There are many other places in Mumbai worth showing
Wonder why your car always seems to stop here
Alms!
Goodness!
The three slinks! Again
Who's this toughie?
And why isn't the pretty lady with you today?
Have you seen them with some girl? Absolutely, sir
Was this the girl? Absolutely
Well? Screwed, aren't you?
You guys are going to the gallows. No one can save you now
No sir, we didn't kill Monica. This guy did
No
Get off
You guys, too
Race! Or, I'll blow your brains out
Faster!
You can kill us later. Sikander won't spare us
We must surrender... Cut the crap!
Or, I'll riddle you! C'mon, speed up
Try to understand me. Leave the gun
Try to understand me... Leave the gun, bastard!
Let the gun go, bastard! We must surrender
What have you done, Prem? Only he could prove us innocent
We're all dead now. I didn't mean to kill him
It was an accident. Watch it, Meet!
I told you!
Why?
Why did you do this?
Such betrayal! Why?
What was lacking in our love?
No, nothing was lacking. We were the ones who were flawed
We couldn't realise, we failed to understand your love
We didn't kill Monica
Whether the world believes it or not, if the three of you believe it...
it'll lessen our regret a great deal at the time of punishment
Whether you killed Monica or not...
but you have certainly killed our trust in you
How can I lay my trust in you again?
Looks like the shock has driven our wives insane
Monica...? Are you alive?
Very much
You guys thought you were tigers and tried to hunt a goat
But this goat turned you into scapegoats
Which means...? Which means...
there are three things in life that need to be tackled by crooked means
Stealing butter, evicting encroachers...
and ridding married men of their philandering ways
And we three wives designed the plan to rid this merrymaking
But honey, we would never have been successful without your help
My help?
Yes. Remember when I called you for the last time that night...
you had forgotten to disconnect your phone
And this satellite of yours heard everything
I tell you! That's the state of our marriages at the moment
If we can't have love and fun from our wives...
why don't we seek it outside and have a blast?
When Aanchal told me and Geeta, we just couldn't believe it
We had cried ourselves sick
You are women of the 21st century. Don't weep like medieval women
Look Aanchal, I'm your friend. And I won't give you wrong suggestions
I know the three of you don't wish to break your marriages
But it is very important to teach your husbands a lesson
Brother Sikander, it's you!
Yes, I arrived two days before schedule
On second thoughts, I've arrived on time
What Monica says is right
Amar has never seen me
It's an advantage. To teach those three a lesson...
I'll design such a plot that they won't ever dare to make that mistake again
The three of you will have to help me
Their plight might melt you down
But you must make yourselves stronger
If you are game, then I promise...
that I shall bring them back on the right track
We are with you
And Monica's assassin? Who was that?
Inspector Bapat
Inspector, he too? Yes
I helped them...
You guys tried to betray your wives and their love for you
It's a grave crime
That's why, the ordeal that you guys have been through...
was our plan
Which means to teach us a lesson...
the three of you introduced Monica in our lives and then got us blackmailed
Then you put on a farce of her death...
and set Inspector Sikander behind us like an executioner...
so that we die a thousand deaths every moment, all day, all night?
You had us hung up Monica's house, got us thrashed by Amar's motherinlaw...
and made us lament so much that we began hating ourselves
Just to teach us a lesson, you went to such an extent...
that it made our lives miserable
Thank God you did all that!
I tell you! Scoundrels like us ought to be treated even more badly
Right. You were lenient
You should've blackened our faces and paraded us in public
But we've learnt our lesson
Our message to every married man is...
to eat lentilcurry at home, and not go seeking chicken outside
Or, you will end up with a bone stuck in your gullet
Forgive us
It's enough that the three of you have realised your mistakes
Get this very clear
Ladies, you too
If men don't like the lentilcurry at home...
they have no right either to go seeking chicken outside
But if you ladies cook chicken at home, sometimes at least...
your men will never stray
That's why Bindiya, send your mummy, my aunt...
away on a pilgrimage today itself
Geeta, you've observed enough fasts
And Aanchal, stop tethering your husband
So friends, what have you learnt?
Fried lentil or chicken, homecooked food is the best
If you try something outside... You will land in a soup
No, no!
No girls, no adultery
What...? No girls? Which means, only men?
You girls are saved. My trouser is in distress. Run!
Sir, it's not like that. Stop, sir
Bloody faggots! They are after me. Boss, wait...
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